Expat spouse: the forgotten member of the expat family?

Luxembourg: a country of opportunities for expatriates

Luxembourg stands out for its large foreign population, which accounts for more than 47% of residents, not including dual nationals. This proportion of foreigners is largely due to active immigration, particularly for professional reasons. In 2023, more than 26,000 foreigners moved to Luxembourg, attracted by a dynamic job market and the promise of attractive salaries.

These expatriates, who are young and at the start of their careers, often arrive with their families, spouses, and children. But while the move may be an adventure for the expatriate employee, what about the accompanying spouse?

The profile of expatriate spouses in Luxembourg and elsewhere

In most cases, expatriate spouses are still predominantly women. Aged between 35 and 45, with a master's degree or higher, and in the midst of their careers, more than half of them unfortunately put their careers on hold to follow their partners!

Once the family has settled in the country, a quarter of them actively seek employment. However, it takes them an average of 10 months to find a job, which may seem like a long time given that the average expatriation period is two and a half years.
Despite these obstacles, nearly 80% of them want to settle permanently in Luxembourg once their spouse's contract has ended.

So, what is the situation for these expatriate women? Unfortunately, it is rather mixed...

The challenges faced by expatriate spouses: family, relationships, employment

Dealing with family issues during expatriation

Moving to a new country brings with it many responsibilities for the accompanying spouse. Often the most involved in family logistics, the spouse is the one who has to deal with the stress of settling the family in.

Thisincludes helping children adapt to a new school and managing their emotional well-being in an unfamiliar environment. Often more involved in educational aspects, expatriate spouses must help their children adapt to a new culture and reassure them that they will be able to make new friends!

The spouse must not only ensure a smooth transition for the whole family, but also cope with being far away from family and friends. The feeling of isolation is profound and gradually increases if nothing is done about it.

The couple's expatriation challenge

Expatriation can be mutually enriching when faced with a new project and a new shared experience. A new dynamic develops within the couple, strengthening their bond through shared challenges.

However, expatriation can also create an imbalance in the couple. The expatriate is fully committed to their new job, while their spouse often puts their career on hold. Isolated and devoted to family tasks, they may feel isolated or even frustrated. They may struggle to find their place in the couple, or even more broadly, their place in the world.

Damaged careers for expatriate spouses

For more than 60% of expatriate women, expatriation is perceived as a hindrance to their careers. A third of them feel they have had to sacrifice their jobs to follow their spouses. This situation not only creates a feeling of frustration, dissatisfaction, and deprivation, but also a loss of professional identity. Sometimes there is even a feeling of personal devaluation.

Finding a job that matches their qualifications is a major challenge for expatriate spouses. Many end up considering a career change by going back to school. Some embark on other forms of professional engagement, such as volunteering with associations oreven entrepreneurship, to showcase their expertise.

Expat spouses face many challenges and questions. Unfortunately, they do not always feel supported or encouraged.

Social isolation linked to expatriation

Social isolation is one of the main obstacles faced by expatriate spouses. Inevitable, at least initially, isolation can become more pronounced over time. Without a local network, with language barriers and a poor understanding of local customs, it is difficult to form lasting relationships. The expatriate's spouse may then become dependent on their partner, creating additional pressure on the couple.

Furthermore, the prospect of an imminent departure does not facilitate deep or long-term intercultural friendships.

Expat communities offer support, but they are often short-lived and sometimes superficial. They can even hinder integration into the local culture and reinforce feelings of not always belonging.

The psychological and social impact of expatriation

In summary, the challenges are immense for expatriate spouses in all aspects of their lives during the expatriation process. Managing the relocation of the entire family with all the pressures that can arise with children or spouses, quickly finding a fulfilling job, creating a new social circle, etc., while taking care of one's health and well-being.

The impact of expatriation on mental health and well-being is significant. Adapting to a new environment and integrating into a new culture is a real challenge for expatriate spouses. It is important that they do not feel alone in facing these challenges.

Coaching: a solution for overcoming the challenges of expatriation

In this context, coaching can be a powerful tool to help expatriate spouses cope with the challenges of expatriation and regain their balance.

Whether you are looking for a new professional project or seeking to improve your personal well-being, coaching can offer you tailored support.

Radically rethinking your career while living abroad

A coach can help you identify your strengths and explore new professional opportunities that are in line with your desires and values. This may include a career change or the creation of an entrepreneurial project tailored to your skills and local opportunities. The goal is to give new meaning to your professional journey.

Regaining self-confidence while living abroad

Expatriation can lead to a loss of self-confidence, especially after losing your previous bearings. Coaching allows you to redefine your priorities, reconnect with your personal aspirations, and rebuild your self-esteem, which is essential for approaching this new life with peace of mind.

Balancing family and personal life for expatriates

Expatriation coaching also helps you find a balance between your various responsibilities, whether as a parent or as an individual with personal needs and aspirations. This support will enable you to learn how to manage your time better and set clear priorities for yourself and your family.

Take control of your expatriation

Expatriation in Luxembourg or elsewhere presents significant challenges, but it can also become an opportunity for personal and professional transformation. With the right support, such as coaching, you can not only overcome the obstacles associated with this new life, but also take advantage of them to grow and flourish.

Ready to take the plunge? If you recognize yourself in these situations and would like to discuss how coaching can help you thrive in Luxembourg, contact me now using the contact form on my website (coaching in French).

NB: I myself have been an expatriate in Luxembourg for over 12 years and have had to deal with all of the above issues.